Return to the college – chapter 1

Looking back in retrospection, I can actually see myself taking the role of a student again for quite some time now. Well more in NIFT than I did in my own college on the sincerity part. Starting out by helping few friends to get over with their C exams to making full projects and typing out project reports on topics of garment expertise seem to become quite much a part of my life now. I can in fact tell you the difference between different denims or weaves, knits, twills and where to buy what if you need to buy fabric cheap.

I still do night outs but not for my own projects anymore; either its work that keeps me up or some God forsaken assignment which is there in the term course of the students of NIFT. Those who know me wouldn’t ask why and those who don’t wouldn’t be visiting this blog at all.

Well, it isn’t the role of a student only that I play in NIFT. I am now adept in giving crash course lessons in C, C++, computer architecture and couple of more things. By the end of the season I’ll graduate in MIS, DBMS and probably in Visual Basic 6 too. Like I said before, it all started with my helping people with their power point presentations, then their ITP projects and then finally doing an ITP project all by my self - That too in the name of someone else. Rather, in the name of two someone else’s.

Well, it hasn’t been an easy journey. Earlier, I had only one head to feed whatever I called knowledge into and now I have many. Interestingly it has been quite a mix too. I’ve seen people who need enough material that they can “reproduce” in their exams to those who want to understand enough to get them through the exams and to finally those for whom I still need to understand how much is enough. Some like to have coffee while studying and some beer. In fact, most would rather have beer first and then the session (referring to the first kind in the interesting mix I was talking about earlier). I started with training only one in the first semester to ten in the fourth and it has its price and as well as rewards. My title in the college has moved slowly, sluggishly even from being just a “jerk” to “He’s some jerk”. Well thankfully I haven’t yet attained the title of “He’s the jerk” till now. At least in a way I wouldn’t want it to be.

Anyway, with four more semesters of my “return to the college” left, I wonder what lies in store for me.

My partners in crime

I had loads of fun in college. I guess everyone does. And when those days are over and we’re banging our heads on a regular basis on our workstations rather than on Rock n roll you know those days is history for ever. Well, almost for ever… Recently, I had a re visiting to those moments… Well not to the college exactly but to the life I had in college.

And to take me there were these two wonderful, devilishly though imps who had come to make my life hell… Er, I mean heaven. It was fun and though I did miss being in college with them me missing these moments spent with them more so. From partying late night and long drives to Nandi Hills in the dead of night… sloshing ourselves completely and remembering nothing of it was just a part. From philosophical discussions and confessional walks to sinful indulgence we did it all. Not a road where we didn’t burn rubber and not a disc left in town which we didn’t go painting red.

Fagging at the corners of our street and smoking cigars in pubs was so very like us. Pulsating music in the night to pulsating hangovers in the morning was something we woke up to every morning. No, I think it was waking up in the noon and then running off to work then. Checking out the chics and passing snide remarks. Picking up on girls at the parties and regretting for those we didn’t try on. From tasting wine to smoking hookahs and buying whatever cheap beer we could with the left over money we had. Eating left over pizza of last night to cooking food (rather messing up the dinner) or sleeping on ready to eat food.

They’re gone now but still left me with te same swinging mood I can’t get out of. And I hope it stays till the time the visit me.. again. 

I Walk Alone

It was the very night. I had my love on one side and the rest of the world on the other. The song was perfect – “Coming Back to Life” by Pink Floyd. The lyrics pounding in my head, my life a complete mess and the only love of my life sitting right next to me. From the feel of it, this looks like a total romantic mushy blog entry. But it isn’t. Because at that very moment, I decided to let her go and choose the world instead.

What? Few exclaimed, some shrugged their shoulders but mostly they mocked. I had become the jester and the joke itself. Should I be really bothered, I don’t know. Maybe I can bring in another of the Floyd’s and say that I was "comfortably numb”. No, life wasn’t moving that fast. Rather, it was not moving at all. It had come to a stand still and still everything was a blur. Who ditched whom or who was dumped wasn’t the question. But the answer was – My love life had ended there. Or was it that I chose another – I don’t know and I’m sure I won’t be able to figure that out for many years to come. But I guessed I had to do it. People say they’d “do ANYTHING for love” and that’s exactly what I didn’t want to do. In fact, I don’t want to do anything except just sit there and let life catch up with me? Where have all my friends gone? Most of them with their girlfriends or wives. I don’t blame them. I have always been “Hat ke (Translated: Different).” Does being different mean being a fool? Maybe, in this world where everybody competes to prove superiority I stand apart. “Just six feet from the edge”… And I am still not thinking.

I had figured out quite well and definitely long back that what might have driven GnR to write “I used to love her”, what made Ramones and then later Metallica sing “Die Die My Darling”. I could never figure out U2 singing “With or without you”. I know now what they meant. Guess, today’s my lucky day… or that’s what I feel. From today “… I walk alone” in “the boulevard of broken dreams”.

“… Guess this is my happy ending.” 

Quarter Life Crisis

Being a twenty-something

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at wat ur studyin or ur job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone! but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

Its called "Quarter-life Crisis." nothing is constant......except change.
what's life without a few risks? keep playing the game!

My GOD - The Figure of My Faith!

[Something Else that I picked up from the Net... you see, I am one of those who are restricted to a limited creativity. Which I definitely don't want to be a reason for a restricted Blog!]

GOD!
As a Software Engineer I believe in only one Almighty, "GOD”!!

Actually it’s the "GOD” that binds all of us ITens together...

It’s this "GOD" that gives us Hope of finding and satisfying our needs (or requirements).

It’s this "GOD" that gives us strength and courage to develop new things.

It’s this "GOD" that gives us the confidence of saying "Yes, I can do it!", In front of our bosses.

It’s this "GOD" that nourishes us with all the food (for thought) and knowledge.

It’s this "GOD" who has enough power to get us out of trouble when the chips are down.

Its this "GOD" that provides us with a single figure of faith no matter to which religion or community we belong to...

We will be in the middle of nowhere without this "GOD".
Oh mere “GOD”....... Andhere raaston ka tu Sitara hai!, (translated as: You are the star that guides us on these dark roads!)

Here I ask you to see with your own eyes to what GOD means to me.... Scroll down along with me...
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G O D

Google Oriented Development

Life From The Window Of A Bachelor

It was not "someone" who called me a bachelor the first time. It was "something". The brown official-looking envelope I received by registered post that day had my degree certificate in it. 'Bachelor of Engineering', it announced in somewhat gaudy letters as I stood smiling. Bachelor!

Till then I was a boy, a brother, a student and a whatnot -- but not a bachelor. All of a sudden, that important piece of paper had given me a new identity.

I know you are dying to tell me things like 'this bachelor is not that bachelor', but believe me, the very next day my phone rang. It was my real-estate agent, an uneasy reminder to the approaching expiration of the initial company accommodation. "Sir, you are a bachelor, aren't you?"

"Sure, I am," I said, almost adding, "and now I have proof of that, if you need."

"Sorry sir. The owner is not willing to give the house to bachelors. But don't worry, sir, I have many other houses. You see..."

So that's how it is. No country for the people of Palestine. No food for starving Somalis. No trees for migrating birds. And yes, no houses for poor bachelors.

They are not welcome in residential areas. Bachelors party and make noise round the clock. They go after the neighborhood girls. They don't respect the norms of the colony. They come in groups...

Anyway, I learnt my lesson: Bachelors don't have all the civil rights that 'normal' citizens enjoy. But then, what do we have that makes many a married guys cherish the memories of his long-lost bachelorhood?

Palestinians have to cling to their land. Migrating birds are bound by directions. But a bachelor has few restrictions. Except for renting an apartment and walking into those stupid 'couples only' clubs, he can have everything else.

He gets up at any time and sneaks into the office unnoticed when others get ready for lunch. He sits to almost any time in front of the computer without worrying about anxious where-are-you calls. He stays away from the house for days and no questions are asked. He does whatever he wants on the weekend, in the company of his friends...

Yes. Friends are the most important aspect of any bachelor's life. Without them he practically has no existence, especially if he's staying away from home.

But then one day, over the thundering music and the first round of cold beer in a dimly lit pub, he announces his plans to get married to this cute girl that someone else had found for him. Over the double cheers, the naughty comments and laughter, I become aware of something that hurts me somewhere. My friend's getting married. Of course it's something to celebrate. But then, that also means he's leaving the gang!
[I can see these symptoms on few of you]

We attend his wedding, the most colorful function of his life, in full spirits. All of us! We give him gifts, wish him good luck and retreat to our good old world, one member less. It does not take much time before we find him reduced to much-delayed replies to our bunch of mails -- and as for phone calls that come only once in a blue moon.

For my part, I watch the pile of wedding invitations in the corner of my desk grow at an amazing, alarming pace. Before I know it, most of my cool buddies are gone. And the rest of us soon realize that we are not always welcome to the new circle the married men have formed. So we seek solace behind those office doors where the sun never sets.

I do meet my married friends occasionally- in the office, on a casual walk, or in a busy restaurant. They are my friends still. And they are still friendly as much as their new lifestyle and added responsibilities permit.

But…, Oh heck! That's my telephone. I think it is my real-estate agent again. 

I am shocked when you use the word F*ck!

The contents of this blog post may seem to be offencive to some people. Its upto the reader's discreetion.

[Below Here is a transcript which I have taken from an Audio Clip! I confess that it’s not at all a creative effort from my side, but I had to put it up as this was too good to have all alone. So here it is:]

F*ck is one of the most beautiful words, English language should be proud of which. No other language I think has any such beautiful words. One Tom from California has done a great deal of research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of the Tom, Dick and Harry Fame. He says, “One of the most interesting words in English language is the word F*ck. It is one magical word; just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love”.

In language, it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive, “John F*cked Mary” and Intransitive “Mary was F*cked by John”. It can be used as a noun, “Mary is a fine Fuck”. It can be used as an adjective, “Mary is F*cking beautiful.” You see, there are not many words with the versatility like the word f*ck.

Besides its sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:

• Distraught – I got f*cked at the car lot.
• Ignorance – F*ck if I know!
• Trouble – I guess I am f*cked now.
• Aggression – F*ck you!
• Displeasure – What the F*ck is going on here?
• Difficulty – I can’t understand this f*cking job.
• Incompetence – he’s a f*ck off.
• Suspicion – What the f*ck are you doing?
• Enjoyment – I had a f*cking time.
• Request – Get the f*ck out of here!
• Hostility – I am going to knock your f*cking head off!
• greeting – how the f*ck are you?
• Epathy – Who gives a f*ck?
• Innovation – get a bigger f*cking hammer.
• Surprise – F*ck! You scared the shit out of me.
• Anxiety – today is really f*cked!

It can be very healthy too If every morning you do it as a transcendental meditation. Just when you get up the first thing you should do is to repeat the mantra “F*ck you” 5 times. That’s how I keep my throat clear!
I guess that’s enough for the day.... Ciao!

Hallowed Be My Name!

Hello World!

No, this is not the output of a C program picked up from a crappy ‘Teach yourself C programming in X days (where ‘X’ is a Global Unsigned Integer variable)’ book.
This is my greeting to you – the lesser Mortals of this Cyber World!

I have now decided to make my presence felt in this world of Hexadecimal code. (This is just a metaphor. The code can be in Decimal Octal or Binary also. Chances are that it might ever be encrypted with some obsolete algorithm). My existence on the Internet now has a purpose (stronger than the one before) which is more than just binary (or ternary in that matter) in nature! I have finally come out of my silent ‘Samadhi’ (aka Meditation in a more profound manner) to give Gyan to those lifeless souls wandering in the lost highways of this digital world!

I will enlighten all who come to me and in time, they too will grow (almost as) wise like me. I shall reach out to those who haven’t still found me and guide them to my home (… page). At times, I have to come down from the pathways of the cyber world as an avatar in the real world to offload chunks of information for those souls who haven’t yet come and discovered the Internet!

But let us not waste time here with puny words as they often fall short and inadequate to express even a fraction of me. For now, let’s just look at the bigger picture in its whole eternity as you who respectfully and with faith follow for I shall save You from the perpetual blue Screen Error you seem to continuously fall into.

Welcome to the Jungle – My World!

Shopping with my Girl Friend

Last Sunday, I made plans to go out for movie with one of my female friends. For some apparent reason and some insistence, I decided to give her company for shopping too. I guess, the reason was that I needed to shop too. This is what happened:

10:45 AM - she decides to shop for some apparels for herself.

10:52 AM - I still can't figure out why we have start so early!

11:20 AM - we enter Garuda Mall.

11:25 AM - We decide to do her shopping first as there are 'only' 4 hours before the movie show and she needs that time to shop.

11:30 AM - Decide to visit Pantaloons first.

11:32 AM - Black t-shirt right length too tight.

11:42 AM - Maroon t-shirt right fit but too short.

11: 43 AM - Green t-shirt in right length and fit but not available in pink. Pink has been declared as the favorite color.

11:45 AM - I suggest pink t-shirt that seems to be of the right fit and Length. Severe feedback received on the unsuitability of color of piping. I was then requested to refrain from further comments or input.

11:47 AM - We find a wonderful yellow t-shirt. She loves it. Things are now starting to look good. She asks me if she was looking fat in it. I simply mentioned that the arms seemed to be a bit too tight.10 minutes of heavy criticism were delivered on spot which was equally split for me and the t-shirt. Mothers of both briefly referred to.

11:50 AM - Pantaloon found to be severely short on choice, colors and sizes. She looses her anger on security guard. Cashier however is politely spoken to as he is cute.

12:00 PM - Westside endowed with our attention and time. Initial reaction positive. The lighting highlights complexion well and air conditioning is just right. Saleswomen aren’t hot babes. Things are looking good.

12:05 PM - Kurti in orange has bad red embroidery.

12:06 PM - Kurti in orange without embroidery is too plain. I suggest a nice brown sleeveless shirt. I was then curtly reminded of previous request to "SHUT UP WHEN I AM DECIDING!!!"

12:07 PM - Kurti in orange with just the right embroidery. Hurray! No wait… She already has a similar top. Damn!

12:08 PM - Pink t-shirt is perfect but way too tight. Pink is a horrible color. I agree. Maroon is actually the favorite color. (I am hungry.) I agree to that too.

12:15 PM - NO ONE WEARS T-SHIRTS ANYMORE! “Absolutely!” I say. Button down shirts here we come.

12:16 PM – she Asked me if the neck was too deep. I took my time to decide and for that I am almost slapped. No guys around to notice, Phew!

12:20 PM – I Suggest a lunch break. A heavy plastic hanger with metal clips comes flying right at me and misses my right eye by inches. Sorry!

12:30 to 2:30 PM - Finally the perfect blue loose shirt with a spot-on neck and an immaculate print design on the front. She tries it on and asks how it looks. I tell her she looks like Phoebe in one of the episodes of season 4 (F.R.I.E.N.D.S.). This time hanger did not miss. Ouch!

3:00 PM - Paid for the top and it's in the bag now. We proceed towards the men's section.

3:05 PM - Two shirts, one t-shirt and a pair of jeans tried, packed and paid for. She complains of too much delay and possible missing of the movie. I briefly mention that it was difficult trying to shop with one eye in bandages!