I Walk Alone

It was the very night. I had my love on one side and the rest of the world on the other. The song was perfect – “Coming Back to Life” by Pink Floyd. The lyrics pounding in my head, my life a complete mess and the only love of my life sitting right next to me. From the feel of it, this looks like a total romantic mushy blog entry. But it isn’t. Because at that very moment, I decided to let her go and choose the world instead.

What? Few exclaimed, some shrugged their shoulders but mostly they mocked. I had become the jester and the joke itself. Should I be really bothered, I don’t know. Maybe I can bring in another of the Floyd’s and say that I was "comfortably numb”. No, life wasn’t moving that fast. Rather, it was not moving at all. It had come to a stand still and still everything was a blur. Who ditched whom or who was dumped wasn’t the question. But the answer was – My love life had ended there. Or was it that I chose another – I don’t know and I’m sure I won’t be able to figure that out for many years to come. But I guessed I had to do it. People say they’d “do ANYTHING for love” and that’s exactly what I didn’t want to do. In fact, I don’t want to do anything except just sit there and let life catch up with me? Where have all my friends gone? Most of them with their girlfriends or wives. I don’t blame them. I have always been “Hat ke (Translated: Different).” Does being different mean being a fool? Maybe, in this world where everybody competes to prove superiority I stand apart. “Just six feet from the edge”… And I am still not thinking.

I had figured out quite well and definitely long back that what might have driven GnR to write “I used to love her”, what made Ramones and then later Metallica sing “Die Die My Darling”. I could never figure out U2 singing “With or without you”. I know now what they meant. Guess, today’s my lucky day… or that’s what I feel. From today “… I walk alone” in “the boulevard of broken dreams”.

“… Guess this is my happy ending.”