Thursday, March 23, 2006

My GOD - The Figure of My Faith!

[Something Else that I picked up from the Net... you see, I am one of those who are restricted to a limited creativity. Which I definitely don't want to be a reason for a restricted Blog!]

As a Software Engineer I believe in only one Almighty, "GOD”!!

Actually it’s the "GOD” that binds all of us ITens together...

It’s this "GOD" that gives us Hope of finding and satisfying our needs (or requirements).

It’s this "GOD" that gives us strength and courage to develop new things.

It’s this "GOD" that gives us the confidence of saying "Yes, I can do it!", In front of our bosses.

It’s this "GOD" that nourishes us with all the food (for thought) and knowledge.

It’s this "GOD" who has enough power to get us out of trouble when the chips are down.

Its this "GOD" that provides us with a single figure of faith no matter to which religion or community we belong to...

We will be in the middle of nowhere without this "GOD".
Oh mere “GOD”....... Andhere raaston ka tu Sitara hai!, (translated as: You are the star that guides us on these dark roads!)

Here I ask you to see with your own eyes to what GOD means to me.... Scroll down along with me...
Google Oriented Development

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Life From The Window Of A Bachelor

It was not "someone" who called me a bachelor the first time. It was "something". The brown official-looking envelope I received by registered post that day had my degree certificate in it. 'Bachelor of Engineering', it announced in somewhat gaudy letters as I stood smiling. Bachelor!

Till then I was a boy, a brother, a student and a whatnot -- but not a bachelor. All of a sudden, that important piece of paper had given me a new identity.

I know you are dying to tell me things like 'this bachelor is not that bachelor', but believe me, the very next day my phone rang. It was my real-estate agent, an uneasy reminder to the approaching expiration of the initial company accommodation. "Sir, you are a bachelor, aren't you?"

"Sure, I am," I said, almost adding, "and now I have proof of that, if you need."

"Sorry sir. The owner is not willing to give the house to bachelors. But don't worry, sir, I have many other houses. You see..."

So that's how it is. No country for the people of Palestine. No food for starving Somalis. No trees for migrating birds. And yes, no houses for poor bachelors.

They are not welcome in residential areas. Bachelors party and make noise round the clock. They go after the neighborhood girls. They don't respect the norms of the colony. They come in groups...

Anyway, I learnt my lesson: Bachelors don't have all the civil rights that 'normal' citizens enjoy. But then, what do we have that makes many a married guys cherish the memories of his long-lost bachelorhood?

Palestinians have to cling to their land. Migrating birds are bound by directions. But a bachelor has few restrictions. Except for renting an apartment and walking into those stupid 'couples only' clubs, he can have everything else.

He gets up at any time and sneaks into the office unnoticed when others get ready for lunch. He sits to almost any time in front of the computer without worrying about anxious where-are-you calls. He stays away from the house for days and no questions are asked. He does whatever he wants on the weekend, in the company of his friends...

Yes. Friends are the most important aspect of any bachelor's life. Without them he practically has no existence, especially if he's staying away from home.

But then one day, over the thundering music and the first round of cold beer in a dimly lit pub, he announces his plans to get married to this cute girl that someone else had found for him. Over the double cheers, the naughty comments and laughter, I become aware of something that hurts me somewhere. My friend's getting married. Of course it's something to celebrate. But then, that also means he's leaving the gang!
[I can see these symptoms on few of you]

We attend his wedding, the most colorful function of his life, in full spirits. All of us! We give him gifts, wish him good luck and retreat to our good old world, one member less. It does not take much time before we find him reduced to much-delayed replies to our bunch of mails -- and as for phone calls that come only once in a blue moon.

For my part, I watch the pile of wedding invitations in the corner of my desk grow at an amazing, alarming pace. Before I know it, most of my cool buddies are gone. And the rest of us soon realize that we are not always welcome to the new circle the married men have formed. So we seek solace behind those office doors where the sun never sets.

I do meet my married friends occasionally- in the office, on a casual walk, or in a busy restaurant. They are my friends still. And they are still friendly as much as their new lifestyle and added responsibilities permit.

But…, Oh heck! That's my telephone. I think it is my real-estate agent again. Posted by Picasa

Friday, March 10, 2006

I am shocked when you use the word F*ck!

The contents of this blog post may seem to be offencive to some people. Its upto the reader's discreetion.

[Below Here is a transcript which I have taken from an Audio Clip! I confess that it’s not at all a creative effort from my side, but I had to put it up as this was too good to have all alone. So here it is:]

F*ck is one of the most beautiful words, English language should be proud of which. No other language I think has any such beautiful words. One Tom from California has done a great deal of research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom of the Tom, Dick and Harry Fame. He says, “One of the most interesting words in English language is the word F*ck. It is one magical word; just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love”.

In language, it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive, “John F*cked Mary” and Intransitive “Mary was F*cked by John”. It can be used as a noun, “Mary is a fine Fuck”. It can be used as an adjective, “Mary is F*cking beautiful.” You see, there are not many words with the versatility like the word f*ck.

Besides its sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:

  • Distraught – I got f*cked at the car lot.
  • Ignorance – F*ck if I know!
  • Trouble – I guess I am f*cked now.
  • Aggression – F*ck you!
  • Displeasure – What the F*ck is going on here?
  • Difficulty – I can’t understand this f*cking job.
  • Incompetence – he’s a f*ck off.
  • Suspicion – What the f*ck are you doing?
  • Enjoyment – I had a f*cking time.
  • Request – Get the f*ck out of here!
  • Hostility – I am going to knock your f*cking head off!
  • greeting – how the f*ck are you?
  • Epathy – Who gives a f*ck?
  • Innovation – get a bigger f*cking hammer.
  • Surprise – F*ck! You scared the shit out of me.
  • Anxiety – today is really f*cked!

It can be very healthy too If every morning you do it as a transcendental meditation. Just when you get up the first thing you should do is to repeat the mantra “F*ck you” 5 times. That’s how I keep my throat clear!
I guess that’s enough for the day.... Ciao!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Hallowed Be My Name!

Hello World!

No, this is not the output of a C program picked up from a crappy ‘Teach yourself C programming in X days (where ‘X’ is a Global Unsigned Integer variable)’ book.
This is my greeting to you – the lesser Mortals of this Cyber World!

I have now decided to make my presence felt in this world of Hexadecimal code. (This is just a metaphor. The code can be in Decimal Octal or Binary also. Chances are that it might ever be encrypted with some obsolete algorithm). My existence on the Internet now has a purpose (stronger than the one before) which is more than just binary (or ternary in that matter) in nature! I have finally come out of my silent ‘Samadhi’ (aka Meditation in a more profound manner) to give Gyan to those lifeless souls wandering in the lost highways of this digital world!

I will enlighten all who come to me and in time, they too will grow (almost as) wise like me. I shall reach out to those who haven’t still found me and guide them to my home (… page). At times, I have to come down from the pathways of the cyber world as an avatar in the real world to offload chunks of information for those souls who haven’t yet come and discovered the Internet!

But let us not waste time here with puny words as they often fall short and inadequate to express even a fraction of me. For now, let’s just look at the bigger picture in its whole eternity as you who respectfully and with faith follow for I shall save You from the perpetual blue Screen Error you seem to continuously fall into.

Welcome to the Jungle – My World!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Shopping with my Girl Friend

Last Sunday, I made plans to go out for movie with one of my female friends. For some apparent reason and some insistence, I decided to give her company for shopping too. I guess, the reason was that I needed to shop too. This is what happened:

10:45 AM - she decides to shop for some apparels for herself.

10:52 AM - I still can't figure out why we have start so early!

11:20 AM - we enter Garuda Mall.

11:25 AM - We decide to do her shopping first as there are 'only' 4 hours before the movie show and she needs that time to shop.

11:30 AM - Decide to visit Pantaloons first.

11:32 AM - Black t-shirt right length too tight.

11:42 AM - Maroon t-shirt right fit but too short.

11: 43 AM - Green t-shirt in right length and fit but not available in pink. Pink has been declared as the favorite color.

11:45 AM - I suggest pink t-shirt that seems to be of the right fit and Length. Severe feedback received on the unsuitability of color of piping. I was then requested to refrain from further comments or input.

11:47 AM - We find a wonderful yellow t-shirt. She loves it. Things are now starting to look good. She asks me if she was looking fat in it. I simply mentioned that the arms seemed to be a bit too tight.10 minutes of heavy criticism were delivered on spot which was equally split for me and the t-shirt. Mothers of both briefly referred to.

11:50 AM - Pantaloon found to be severely short on choice, colors and sizes. She looses her anger on security guard. Cashier however is politely spoken to as he is cute.

12:00 PM - Westside endowed with our attention and time. Initial reaction positive. The lighting highlights complexion well and air conditioning is just right. Saleswomen aren’t hot babes. Things are looking good.

12:05 PM - Kurti in orange has bad red embroidery.

12:06 PM - Kurti in orange without embroidery is too plain. I suggest a nice brown sleeveless shirt. I was then curtly reminded of previous request to "SHUT UP WHEN I AM DECIDING!!!"

12:07 PM - Kurti in orange with just the right embroidery. Hurray! No wait… She already has a similar top. Damn!

12:08 PM - Pink t-shirt is perfect but way too tight. Pink is a horrible color. I agree. Maroon is actually the favorite color. (I am hungry.) I agree to that too.

12:15 PM - NO ONE WEARS T-SHIRTS ANYMORE! “Absolutely!” I say. Button down shirts here we come.

12:16 PM – she Asked me if the neck was too deep. I took my time to decide and for that I am almost slapped. No guys around to notice, Phew!

12:20 PM – I Suggest a lunch break. A heavy plastic hanger with metal clips comes flying right at me and misses my right eye by inches. Sorry!

12:30 to 2:30 PM - Finally the perfect blue loose shirt with a spot-on neck and an immaculate print design on the front. She tries it on and asks how it looks. I tell her she looks like Phoebe in one of the episodes of season 4 (F.R.I.E.N.D.S.). This time hanger did not miss. Ouch!

3:00 PM - Paid for the top and it's in the bag now. We proceed towards the men's section.

3:05 PM - Two shirts, one t-shirt and a pair of jeans tried, packed and paid for. She complains of too much delay and possible missing of the movie. I briefly mention that it was difficult trying to shop with one eye in bandages!