Summer Classes for Men

(This is what my girl sent me the other day...)

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 17th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMIT ED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. 

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How to Find Things--Starting With Looking In the Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling when you’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Do girls ever listen?

I have been thinking about how much fun girls always have been (or maybe my Pheromones were speaking for me) but recently, I’ve been exposed to the more ‘Complicated’ side of them and a continuous habit no matter how hard you try to break of not listening? I am surprised here and can really have a vote here as is it me or girls just don’t listen?

I’ve been stumped that no matter how articulate one may be it is almost impossible to explain a female counterpart the notion of practicality. Somehow their ‘intuitive’ thinking and our sense (as in a guy) doesn’t really go hand in hand. Tell her to do something from a practical point of view; she won’t because it’ll conflict with her line of thought. Write down instructions for her and she won’t follow it. Afterwards, when it doesn’t work she’ll blame you for being so vile that you’ve given her a plan so flawed. No wonder Einstein found it easier to work on the theory or relativity than on the theory of relationships.
You do something wrong, you get fired for that – accepted behavior.
She does something wrong and you accept is as a part of life – difficult to accept but not improbable.
She does something wrong and you get fired for that – again, difficult to accept but not improbable.
Anyone does anything wrong and you get fired for that – wow, try that for size!
And, somehow, to most guys in relationship this has become a part of life. Perhaps, their pheromones levels are way too high to feel anything but generous towards the females.

In my short life with whatever experiences I’ve had, more often I’ve found myself at my wit’s end asking myself the question – What Did I do (now)?
Somehow, I’ve always been the one seeking apology and thinking that somewhere something was wrong only to realize that it was me and my understanding of the word apology wrong. As per dictionary.com, Apology is “a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another”. Also, if you care enough to look beyond that, there is another definition – “an inferior specimen or substitute”. Well, how about that! Girls do have a better sense of the language and somehow, they don’t need to study it in School or pickup a dictionary for that. Genetically speaking, if the chromosome pairing of the last pair is ‘XY’, the first part of the meaning holds true otherwise, it’s the latter one. So a girl asking for apology is out of the question. And to trace this root of evil perhaps, we need to go back in time when some philanthropic anthropologist said that Women are more superior to men. Today, I think it was just his hormones speaking for him.
It’s always like this even when we make a comment based on the gender (like this blog I’m posting) – we’re being sexist or chauvinist. Had it been a girl writing an article like this – she’s being a feminist!

One thing at the end I did understand, there’s no point complaining! Shut up and you’ll enjoy good sex well, most of the times. Otherwise like me – you’ll be sleeping on the couch.

Humor-Blogs.com

Men vs Women - An Epic Battle! | Funny Jokes at JibJab